[0.0s] previously on Dumbgeons and Dragons.
[30.0s] That's a tough business to be in.
[32.0s] Not a lot of market for that, I wouldn't think.
[34.0s] Cool, cool, cool. So you're like, adventurers, yeah?
[37.0s] Yeah, yeah. I think we're adventurers.
[39.0s] Yeah, I guess so.
[41.0s] Very neat, very neat. There's this old rumor, old saying over near here.
[45.0s] Uh, big treasure?
[47.0s] Big fun!
[49.0s] Big fun! We go find the big treasure, we have big fun!
[52.0s] All three of you feel like the wind dies down, like almost to a standstill.
[59.0s] And just above the trees right in front of you at the end of this path, you see the tip of a windmill.
[67.0s] Well, I'll be damned.
[90.0s] Welcome to Dumbgeons and Dragons, we're a D&D 5th edition actual play podcast, and I'm your dungeon master, Russ More, and with me today is Tom Laird.
[98.0s] Hey, that's me, I play Moot, he's a half-orc, uh, wild magic sorcerer.
[103.0s] And Amy More.
[105.0s] Hey, I play Sullivan Sleight, or Sully, a lightfoot halfling rogue.
[111.0s] And Carla Johnson.
[113.0s] That's me, and I play Glim, a dragonborn pAlydin.
[118.0s] How's everybody doing tonight?
[120.0s] Great.
[121.0s] Doing real good.
[122.0s] By tonight I mean this generic time of day that people are listening.
[125.0s] Yeah, is it night? Could be. Morning? Midday? I don't know.
[128.0s] I see sun outside, so I'm not sure what you're talking about.
[131.0s] Amy refuses to yes-and this garbage.
[133.0s] Fuck it.
[134.0s] Will not. Will not. You put me in some weird ghosty place, maybe, who knows. Don't want this.
[140.0s] Where we're always yes-anding is over on Patreon.
[143.0s] Patreon.com slash dumb dragoncast in the side-scroller that we run over there, which is amazing,
[148.0s] and you should come over just so you can listen to that, because Tom runs a wonderful game.
[151.0s] Yeah, he does.
[152.0s] He does.
[153.0s] Aw, thanks, guys. It's a super fun one to run.
[155.0s] But also you get an episode dedicated to you, like today's patron,
[160.0s] and this episode is dedicated to that patron, Kyle McSherry.
[165.0s] Thanks, Kyle.
[166.0s] Thanks, Kyle.
[167.0s] I was wondering how long Russ would be able to drag that out before he said your name.
[170.0s] I know. There's a lot of anticipation.
[173.0s] Build the suspense. That's what my job is, and I did that so well.
[177.0s] I didn't get to the point where I could have said his name and then think that maybe it shouldn't have been that way,
[182.0s] and then try and backtrack. No, that's not what I did.
[184.0s] No, I assumed you had a script in front of you. It was seamless.
[188.0s] Seamless. Perfect.
[190.0s] Fuck it, let's play D&D.
[193.0s] So you find yourself after heading into the woods with Hillop and not getting his honey.
[200.0s] Please listen to the previous episodes. That's not a sexual record.
[203.0s] I mean, it's an episodic thing. Hopefully you have listened to the previous episode.
[206.0s] But if you're just coming in now, it's not a sex thing.
[209.0s] If not, it's all about Hillop's honey.
[212.0s] But you have walked down a pathway. The wind has kind of died down to a standstill.
[219.0s] You see ahead of you a windmill. You're not certain if it's the windmill,
[223.0s] but it is a windmill, and it doesn't appear to be moving.
[226.0s] And it's in the middle of a forest.
[228.0s] It's in the middle of a forest.
[230.0s] So already spooky because what windmills need to work is wind.
[235.0s] Yeah.
[236.0s] I would like to use my divine sense.
[240.0s] That's right, a game mechanic.
[242.0s] Oh my god.
[243.0s] Mind explosion.
[244.0s] Okay.
[245.0s] As an action, I can detect good and evil.
[248.0s] Until the end of my next turn, I can sense anything affected by the hallow spell
[253.0s] or know the location of any celestial fiend or undead within 60 feet.
[258.0s] Shit.
[260.0s] Any of them bad boys kicking around?
[262.0s] I mean, probably not, but I wanted to use a thing, guys.
[264.0s] I think that's lovely.
[266.0s] I mean, you get the heebie-jeebies that maybe something is awry here,
[271.0s] but you do not specifically detect any of those evildoers.
[276.0s] Okay.
[279.0s] Guys, this place feels super creepy.
[282.0s] And not just because it's a windmill in the middle of a forest,
[286.0s] which I don't know a lot of physics or windmill-ics,
[291.0s] but I think you need wind for a windmill to work,
[294.0s] so why would they even have built it here?
[296.0s] Anyway, this place is super creepy.
[298.0s] Friends, this could be the windmill that we are looking for.
[303.0s] It's in the middle of a forest.
[305.0s] It's not moving right now, which is, like, good for the rumor.
[309.0s] Yeah? Yeah?
[311.0s] And then it was powered by a magic orb,
[313.0s] which means it wouldn't have regularly needed wind to move.
[318.0s] And evil took over, and it's super creepy.
[321.0s] Super creepy. You noticed that, too.
[323.0s] Yeah. So what do you say?
[326.0s] Will you just, like, barge in there?
[328.0s] Yeah, let's kick the door in.
[330.0s] I'm so happy. I brought you guys with me.
[335.0s] Okay.
[336.0s] So are you over the whole honey thing now, have we moved on?
[339.0s] Well, we'll still come back to get some honey, right?
[341.0s] Well, we have to go back the same way we came.
[343.0s] I guess you can do whatever you want.
[345.0s] You all can start walking down.
[347.0s] And the pathway, there's big trees at the end of this pathway.
[351.0s] It takes a right.
[352.0s] You could, in theory, cut through the trees to get directly to the windmill,
[356.0s] it would seem.
[358.0s] So if we're just going to cut through here, is that okay with you guys,
[361.0s] or is the trees too creepy-creepy?
[363.0s] We could go around the pathways.
[366.0s] Well, I've read Little Red Riding Hood,
[368.0s] and you're never supposed to be off the path, so...
[371.0s] So you want us to stay to the path, then?
[373.0s] I vote path. I'm a pragmatic.
[376.0s] We can stay on the path. Why not?
[378.0s] That's totally cool.
[380.0s] Kind of keeping an eye on where you're going with the windmill,
[383.0s] but the path turns to the right.
[386.0s] You take a left, and then you're basically just following around this circle here.
[391.0s] As you walk down the path, there is a right turn.
[394.0s] Down at the end, it opens into a bit of a clearing.
[397.0s] You don't see much,
[399.0s] but you continue to take a left, and then another left,
[402.0s] and you make it to the front of a windmill.
[409.0s] I would like to do a perception check.
[411.0s] Me too. I don't know why, though.
[414.0s] I rolled a one. I rolled a two.
[416.0s] Guess I've still got that song from Zumba in my head.
[420.0s] Just, it's such an earworm.
[422.0s] Slogged in your brain.
[424.0s] I got a ten.
[426.0s] I guess we just see a windmill.
[428.0s] So we see a windmill, yeah?
[430.0s] It looks like an old windmill.
[432.0s] Kind of not super well-kept.
[435.0s] Looks like maybe it hasn't been tended to in several years.
[439.0s] Got a real creepo vibe to it.
[442.0s] Not what you detect to it.
[444.0s] Okay.
[446.0s] You see Hillop go over to the door, and he goes to open it.
[450.0s] We should, Hillop, we should knock.
[453.0s] What if someone lives here?
[455.0s] Just because it's run down doesn't mean,
[457.0s] could be someone's home, you can't just walk in,
[459.0s] it's the middle of the night.
[460.0s] Well, I just assumed that maybe it was abandoned,
[463.0s] because rumor, but you're right, you're right.
[465.0s] He knocks.
[469.0s] My mouth got really dry at that moment,
[472.0s] I also like your, like, pattern.
[478.0s] And then people's drums start coming out, like,
[480.0s] doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo.
[482.0s] It's that Zumba song all over it.
[483.0s] Yeah, and then someone starts singing,
[485.0s] What's new? Buenos Aires.
[488.0s] It's a whole musical number out of nowhere.
[491.0s] That'd be amazing.
[492.0s] Do that one day, Russ.
[494.0s] I mean, in like two years,
[496.0s] well, just like where it comes out of nowhere,
[498.0s] it'll be so fun.
[500.0s] So he knocks, and he kind of waits there,
[502.0s] everybody waits there for a minute,
[503.0s] and you don't hear anything.
[504.0s] Actually, make a perception check.
[506.0s] That's probably a better way to do it.
[507.0s] Play this game that we're playing.
[508.0s] 10.
[509.0s] 14.
[510.0s] Oh, now 20.
[511.0s] Oh, damn.
[512.0s] I mean, nobody hears anything coming from inside the windmill,
[515.0s] but you hear, like, a faint calling off and behind you,
[521.0s] someone yelling, like,
[522.0s] Help! Help!
[526.0s] Does anybody hear that?
[529.0s] Now that you focus on it,
[532.0s] everybody else does hear kind of a faint calling for help.
[537.0s] Well, it sounds like someone needs some help.
[540.0s] Yeah, we've got to go,
[541.0s] and I'm already, like, heading in that direction.
[544.0s] I'm right behind Glim.
[545.0s] All right.
[546.0s] Caleb's like,
[547.0s] We're off to adventure!
[549.0s] He's following behind.
[551.0s] You run, you're sticking to the path?
[555.0s] If that's where it sounded like that.
[557.0s] Yeah, like, I think I would, like, kind of beeline
[561.0s] whatever the fastest path was to where I thought it was coming from.
[564.0s] It would be cutting through some trees to get to the sound, so.
[567.0s] Yeah, you go back the way you came a little bit,
[570.0s] but before you get to the one turn that you didn't go down,
[573.0s] you hear them coming from the other side of the trees there,
[577.0s] so you cut through the trees.
[578.0s] Does everybody follow?
[580.0s] Yeah.
[581.0s] Moot.
[582.0s] Moot.
[583.0s] Caleb.
[584.0s] Best feeling about this.
[585.0s] Sully hesitates for a moment.
[588.0s] I mean, as far as you know, there could be a path.
[592.0s] Yeah, no, Sully follows them.
[595.0s] All right, so you cut through the trees.
[597.0s] Glim, you're the first one through,
[599.0s] and you see a man caught in quicksand in the middle of a pathway.
[607.0s] He looks like he's kind of just, like, face above the sand,
[612.0s] and he kind of looks over to you without turning too much.
[615.0s] He's like, oh, thank God.
[617.0s] Can you help me?
[619.0s] OK, guys, this is what we have to do.
[621.0s] We've got to get the three of us together,
[623.0s] and we'll make a human chain,
[624.0s] and then we've got to grab the guy,
[625.0s] and then we've got to pull him out without sinking in, OK?
[628.0s] You are very resourceful.
[630.0s] Let's do this thing.
[632.0s] Can we use a rope?
[634.0s] Yeah, we've got to use a rope.
[635.0s] We'll tie it to a tree, and then tie it to the person,
[637.0s] and then tie it to the person, and then tie it to the person,
[639.0s] quick, quick, quick, before this guy goes under.
[641.0s] All right, I tie the rope to a sturdy-looking tree.
[645.0s] Make a dexterity check.
[646.0s] Oh, God.
[649.0s] 11.
[651.0s] Yeah, you tie it to the tree.
[652.0s] OK.
[654.0s] I double-check my knot.
[656.0s] Love it.
[657.0s] Make an investigation check.
[659.0s] It's a 12.
[663.0s] Yes, it's a knot.
[664.0s] It is a knot.
[665.0s] You probably feel like you could have tied it a little better, though.
[667.0s] OK, I tied a little better.
[668.0s] You do so.
[670.0s] OK.
[672.0s] You're tying it to each individual person,
[674.0s] or you're just kind of like holding on to it?
[676.0s] What's happening here?
[677.0s] Well, I say tie off, and then...
[679.0s] I mean, we should, in theory, in quicksand theory.
[683.0s] Yeah.
[684.0s] If Sully's tied to the tree...
[685.0s] Well, I don't know that Sully was the best choice to go next to the tree,
[689.0s] so let's tie whoever is next to Sully also to the rope.
[693.0s] It's just that he's small.
[694.0s] He's not that strong.
[695.0s] Well, I just tied it to a tree.
[697.0s] I just have a hemp rope.
[699.0s] Oh, you haven't tied it to yourself at all.
[701.0s] No.
[702.0s] Oh, just to the tree.
[703.0s] He's tied it to himself as anchor.
[706.0s] I got you, guys.
[709.0s] And everybody's in the quicksand new podcast.
[712.0s] Yeah.
[714.0s] No, Sully's definitely not going to be tied.
[717.0s] OK, guys.
[719.0s] Oh, I guess.
[721.0s] How far across is the quicksand?
[723.0s] It appears to be, like, we'll say 40 feet diameter,
[730.0s] so 20 feet to the guy who's kind of near the middle.
[734.0s] OK.
[735.0s] My God.
[736.0s] How far did he walk in before he got to the middle of a forest?
[739.0s] Right?
[740.0s] Geez.
[741.0s] You mean thrashing and stuff?
[742.0s] You move around?
[743.0s] I guess so.
[744.0s] Can we sort out these details later, please?
[748.0s] Yeah, OK.
[749.0s] No more talking.
[750.0s] It's going to make you think deeper.
[752.0s] OK.
[753.0s] So what do you think, guys?
[755.0s] What order should we go in?
[756.0s] I think I'm the strongest.
[757.0s] I'm not trying to be rude, but maybe I should go and be the one to pull him out,
[761.0s] or should I be at the anchor and hold everybody else that's pulling him out?
[764.0s] What do you guys think?
[765.0s] What do you think?
[766.0s] I think we just got to get him out of there.
[769.0s] Not helpful.
[770.0s] Phillip, what do you think?
[771.0s] Oh, well, it sounds like you got the good pulls,
[773.0s] so maybe you go pull the rope and we will hold on to him with our hands.
[786.0s] Oh, my God.
[787.0s] You guys.
[788.0s] OK.
[789.0s] For Christ.
[790.0s] OK.
[791.0s] So you understand what I'm saying here.
[792.0s] I know what you're saying here.
[793.0s] I think that you should be closest to the tree.
[795.0s] I think you should be in charge of making sure that we don't all fall into the thing.
[801.0s] Me, I'm going to be just organizing this entire thing.
[804.0s] Then we're going to have Phillip is going to be next.
[808.0s] And then Moot, you are going to be grabbing the hands of the guy
[811.0s] if you feel comfortable doing so.
[813.0s] Sure.
[814.0s] I can do that.
[815.0s] All right, you guys.
[817.0s] Sweet.
[818.0s] Should we tie this to our good friend Moot here maybe?
[821.0s] Yeah.
[822.0s] You should be tying it to you as well.
[824.0s] Come on.
[825.0s] Chop, chop, chop.
[826.0s] I already tied it to me and then to him and then to him.
[828.0s] OK.
[829.0s] We're tied for good.
[830.0s] We're all tied.
[831.0s] Everybody make a check of some sort.
[834.0s] OK.
[835.0s] What kind of check?
[836.0s] What kind of rope check do you want?
[839.0s] Survival?
[840.0s] We never do survival checks.
[843.0s] I literally don't remember ever doing one.
[845.0s] No, let's do a survival check.
[847.0s] That's not exactly what that is.
[849.0s] OK.
[850.0s] We can do a survival check to see if we get the guy.
[852.0s] Let's do avoid quickstand or other natural hazards.
[856.0s] It says it right in there.
[857.0s] Oh, fuck it, Ben.
[858.0s] Yeah.
[859.0s] In survival?
[860.0s] Yeah.
[861.0s] Am I misremembering?
[862.0s] Do we do survival checks all the time?
[864.0s] No, we don't.
[865.0s] This is the first time ever.
[866.0s] But if you click on it in D&D Beyond, it literally says quickstand.
[870.0s] Oh, you're right.
[871.0s] Everybody do a survival check.
[872.0s] Do I have to if I'm not participating?
[875.0s] Yeah.
[876.0s] I'm just watching.
[877.0s] You're just there for moral support.
[878.0s] I really am.
[879.0s] He's aiding, so everybody do it with advantage.
[882.0s] Yeah.
[883.0s] I'm cheering on.
[885.0s] OK.
[886.0s] 13 for the first one.
[888.0s] 14 for this.
[889.0s] OK.
[890.0s] Mildly better.
[891.0s] I also got a 14.
[892.0s] And yeah, Hillop got a 12, but that's good.
[898.0s] So, Moot, you explain to me what you do, because you're the guy going in to reach
[903.0s] hand.
[904.0s] So you tell me, you describe to me what you're doing.
[907.0s] Yeah.
[908.0s] I mean, I guess I just kind of like inch my way as close as possible while I
[913.0s] still have solid footing.
[915.0s] And then just kind of lean as forward as I can.
[918.0s] He's 20 feet in the middle of it.
[920.0s] Moot, what you got to do is we all got to lay down flat so we don't break
[923.0s] through the top.
[924.0s] We got to spread out our weight.
[925.0s] We got to distribute our weight out across.
[928.0s] You understand?
[929.0s] Oh.
[930.0s] That is a pheasant, this is a board.
[931.0s] OK.
[932.0s] That makes so much more sense than my method.
[934.0s] This is my first time with quickstand, guys.
[936.0s] I don't know what I'm doing.
[938.0s] Me too, buddy.
[939.0s] I didn't even know a survival was a thing.
[942.0s] He almost sunk down.
[947.0s] Dude, make sure your hand is available for our buddy here.
[951.0s] He kind of lifts his hand up and out of the sand and reaching towards Moot.
[956.0s] And you lay down flat.
[958.0s] Hillops got you by the feet.
[960.0s] Yeah.
[961.0s] And you're kind of army crawling-ish forward.
[965.0s] And you make it to his hand.
[967.0s] And now everybody's going to make a strength check.
[970.0s] I'll come behind and help pull as much as myself can do this.
[976.0s] That's pretty good.
[977.0s] I'm the strongest creature in the world.
[979.0s] Five.
[980.0s] Just kidding.
[981.0s] OK, so here's the thing.
[982.0s] Hillop got a two.
[983.0s] Oh, no.
[984.0s] So how this is going to work is Sully and Glim are pulling so hard that
[992.0s] Hillop loses his grip on Moot.
[996.0s] But because he's tied, that's fine.
[998.0s] But he slips and he's like, oh, no, my friend is going to go into the drink.
[1003.0s] And then your strength manages to pull everybody back and out.
[1009.0s] And the guy makes it to the edge and he's able to climb up and out.
[1013.0s] And he's kind of just winded because we don't know how long he's been in there.
[1020.0s] But he's like, thank you.
[1022.0s] I give him my water skin so he can have a drink of water.
[1026.0s] He takes several big gulps as he's trying to collect himself.
[1031.0s] Thank goodness you guys came by.
[1035.0s] What were you doing out here all by yourself?
[1038.0s] Well, I heard there was gold here.
[1043.0s] And Hillop was like, yes, I heard there was gold here too.
[1046.0s] He's following the rumor.
[1048.0s] How many people out here looking for gold?
[1050.0s] How many different ways are we going to have to split this thing?
[1053.0s] Well, I mean, you saved my life.
[1055.0s] If there is gold, like, that's fine.
[1061.0s] I don't really need it anymore, I guess.
[1064.0s] I've got so much more to live for than just sweet, sweet gold.
[1068.0s] Oh, that's a great attitude.
[1070.0s] I'm Glim. What's your name?
[1072.0s] My name is Esau.
[1075.0s] It's nice to meet you, Esau.
[1077.0s] Oh, can I ask you a question?
[1079.0s] Of course.
[1081.0s] So there's this haunted windmill and an orb and then some gold.
[1086.0s] Where's the gold come into it?
[1088.0s] We were a little confused about that.
[1090.0s] Well, the rumor as I know it is that the town kind of collected its gold in one place.
[1100.0s] Like a bank?
[1102.0s] Sure, yeah.
[1104.0s] It's been a while, though.
[1105.0s] So maybe they didn't call it a bank or maybe it wasn't as conventional as a bank.
[1110.0s] But yeah, they put it all in one place and just the riches of the town are here somewhere, supposedly.
[1117.0s] And, you know, they were driven off and were forced to take only what they could.
[1123.0s] And the gold is still rumored to be here.
[1127.0s] I had some friends with me, but they got chickened out.
[1130.0s] They chickened out a while back.
[1132.0s] They heard some buzzing.
[1134.0s] Oh, there was definitely a lot of bees.
[1137.0s] Oh, well, then one of my friends is allergic to bees, so that's probably good.
[1141.0s] He turned around.
[1146.0s] So you guys are here to find the gold?
[1148.0s] You folks are here to find the gold, too?
[1150.0s] Well, we are more here to banish evil and maybe find this orb.
[1154.0s] Yeah, I'm just not really a fan of evil generally, so I try and get rid of it whenever I can.
[1160.0s] But I'm definitely here for the gold.
[1163.0s] So a variety of reasons.
[1166.0s] Oh, great.
[1168.0s] I don't know.
[1170.0s] Okay.
[1171.0s] Well, I mean, there was a cave a little while over there.
[1178.0s] Did you not make it to the windmill?
[1180.0s] No, I saw the windmill and then got kind of stuck in this situation.
[1185.0s] Stuck in this muck.
[1186.0s] Yeah.
[1187.0s] Right.
[1189.0s] Well, I think we were just about to go look in the windmill when we heard you, so do you want to come with us?
[1196.0s] I'd love to.
[1197.0s] Yeah.
[1198.0s] Being alone, I'm finding, is probably not a great place to be when everything is evil.
[1203.0s] Well, it's really creepy here.
[1205.0s] It is.
[1206.0s] It is very, very creepy here.
[1208.0s] Yeah, strength in numbers is insane.
[1210.0s] No, I like it.
[1211.0s] I like it.
[1212.0s] And you guys start walking back.
[1213.0s] You cut through the trees, coming back the way you came, I assume.
[1217.0s] I think so, because it seemed safe when we did it.
[1221.0s] So yeah, you guys, as you're talking, you make it back to the windmill.
[1224.0s] Wow.
[1226.0s] I didn't think I'd actually find a windmill in the middle of the forest.
[1229.0s] It's weird, isn't it?
[1231.0s] It's very cool.
[1232.0s] Yeah.
[1233.0s] I mean, maybe we find the gold and we just get on out.
[1235.0s] I mean, banish the evils doers and get on out of here.
[1240.0s] Yeah, hold on.
[1241.0s] Like, in what order are we doing these things?
[1243.0s] Like, if we find the orb, that's super.
[1246.0s] We can look at our leisure for the gold.
[1249.0s] We find the gold first.
[1250.0s] Are we still looking for the orb?
[1255.0s] I mean, you guys tell me I left gold back in a tree there.
[1259.0s] So apparently gold is not high priority all the time.
[1266.0s] I turn to the guy and I'm like, Bishop, is the gold like this isn't honey, right?
[1272.0s] He doesn't answer you.
[1273.0s] Excuse me.
[1275.0s] His name's Esau.
[1277.0s] Esau.
[1279.0s] Esau is his name, silly.
[1281.0s] Esau?
[1282.0s] Silly.
[1283.0s] I just called him silly.
[1284.0s] Yeah.
[1285.0s] Esau.
[1286.0s] Yeah.
[1287.0s] Oh, all right.
[1288.0s] Sorry.
[1289.0s] The gold that we're looking for, you didn't hear that it is rumored to actually
[1292.0s] be honey, did you?
[1293.0s] No.
[1294.0s] It's not like liquid gold?
[1295.0s] No, I think he's just referring to the fact that he could have made money off of
[1299.0s] the gold.
[1300.0s] Oh yeah.
[1301.0s] Off of the honey, rather.
[1303.0s] Made gold off of the honey.
[1305.0s] Just making sure.
[1306.0s] Yeah.
[1307.0s] Okay.
[1308.0s] Well, has anybody tried the door or?
[1310.0s] No, after you.
[1311.0s] Well, we knocked.
[1312.0s] We knocked and there was no answer and then we heard you.
[1315.0s] So we haven't been inside yet.
[1317.0s] Great.
[1318.0s] Okay.
[1319.0s] Who wants to go first?
[1322.0s] Yeah, I'll go try the door.
[1325.0s] Yeah, that sounds right.
[1327.0s] I was there first.
[1328.0s] I could do it again.
[1329.0s] He just goes and knocks again, looking at everybody.
[1337.0s] Are we good to try the door now?
[1339.0s] Let's try the door.
[1340.0s] We've knocked two times.
[1342.0s] Goes to turn it.
[1344.0s] It's locked.
[1346.0s] Oh, I can do that.
[1350.0s] You can do that?
[1352.0s] All right, done.
[1353.0s] Undo that.
[1354.0s] I'll pick it.
[1356.0s] Sure.
[1357.0s] Yeah, get up and make an investigation check before you start to pick the lock.
[1363.0s] God, the fuck.
[1365.0s] Two.
[1366.0s] No, three.
[1368.0s] Four.
[1371.0s] As you bend down to start picking the lock,
[1376.0s] Hillop is like, oh, hey, there's two other locks there.
[1380.0s] Didn't see that before.
[1383.0s] There's three locks.
[1385.0s] That's a lot of locks.
[1386.0s] Do you think they're trying to keep something inside there?
[1389.0s] Maybe like gold?
[1391.0s] Well, maybe.
[1393.0s] Or like some kind of evil creature.
[1396.0s] That we should banish?
[1398.0s] Oh, you're right.
[1399.0s] Okay, let's open it up.
[1401.0s] Yeah, all right.
[1403.0s] Oh, fuck, everything.
[1405.0s] 16.
[1407.0s] The first lock, yeah, it unlocks quite easily for you.
[1413.0s] 11.
[1415.0s] The first lock takes a little longer, but you hear the latch click over after a couple minutes.
[1421.0s] That's right.
[1422.0s] That was really embarrassing.
[1423.0s] You've taken you a long time.
[1424.0s] You're very good at the first one.
[1428.0s] 12.
[1429.0s] I am going to, in case there's evil, get my weapon ready.
[1432.0s] I'm ready for evil.
[1433.0s] Yeah, I'm going to stand behind you.
[1436.0s] Do I click the last one open with a 12?
[1439.0s] Yeah.
[1440.0s] As I click it open, I like, since I'm facing the door, I like swish really fast so that my back is to the wall in case the door swings open and anything comes at me.
[1450.0s] The door does open inwards, and there's like a, as the door opens.
[1459.0s] Ah.
[1461.0s] That was an unsettling sound.
[1463.0s] That was...
[1466.0s] Windmill?
[1468.0s] Are you a person?
[1473.0s] I mean, it sounded like a voice, right?
[1477.0s] I don't know. It sounded like it was breezing maybe?
[1481.0s] Yeah.
[1482.0s] I'm dying.
[1484.0s] I'm a windmill.
[1487.0s] Or I just let out some air from a stale building after a little while.
[1494.0s] I don't know.
[1499.0s] I hope this sentient windmill comes along with us for all our adventures.
[1502.0s] I hope so too.
[1503.0s] I mean, logistically, it's going to be a nightmare, but I think it'll just be a delight and really add to it in the end.
[1517.0s] Do you want to find a picture of the windmill?
[1519.0s] Nope.
[1520.0s] Check your blood sugar.
[1526.0s] Well, it did sound like breathing. It sounded like probably just a little old air in there.
[1535.0s] Yeah. Yeah, you're probably right.
[1539.0s] Like I said, there was a cave over here. Maybe we... I don't know if I feel good about going in there.
[1545.0s] Maybe we go look around and see what else we find before we head into the windmill? I don't know.
[1551.0s] Guys, I just spent time unlocking three different logs. You going to tell me you don't want to go in now?
[1555.0s] I mean, we're here right now.
[1557.0s] I think we should go in, and I'm going to go to the door, but not go in, but stick my head in, and do an investigation check.
[1565.0s] You know, like you do in the world.
[1568.0s] I know that's how I enter every room.
[1570.0s] Me too. There's only a 12, though, so...
[1574.0s] You look inside. Everything's very dusty and covered in cobwebs. It's pretty dark in there.
[1581.0s] And other than a little bit of light shining down through a window up top, you see a shadow of a staircase along the back.
[1594.0s] That goes up. But you don't really see much else in there, because it's dark.
[1603.0s] I think we should just go in and check, you guys. We're right here.
[1608.0s] And I go in.
[1611.0s] Anybody follow?
[1613.0s] I follow.
[1614.0s] I'm going in, too.
[1616.0s] You three go in. And what order is everybody going in?
[1622.0s] I'll go second. I sneak myself in right after. I don't want to be laughed.
[1627.0s] Sure.
[1628.0s] Sure, I'll go in third.
[1630.0s] The three of you get in. Moot, you see in the corner, there's a dusty old table that's kind of off and to the side.
[1641.0s] All three of you see the staircase leading up. And as you get kind of to the center of the room, you hear the door shut behind you.
[1649.0s] Hiss up!
[1650.0s] Hiss up!
[1651.0s] Hey, hey, you guys okay in there?
[1655.0s] Did you shut the door?
[1656.0s] No, we didn't shut the door. Did you shut the door? Why'd you? Is there gold in there? Are you keeping us from the gold?
[1661.0s] Moot, open the door.
[1664.0s] I try to open the door.
[1666.0s] As you step towards the door, you hear the latches go k-k-k-k-k-k as the door relocks itself from the inside.
[1674.0s] So it could have unlocked itself, but I was out there struggling like an asshole.
[1679.0s] Apparently, yeah, I guess this is just a self-locking door.
[1684.0s] You hear the door kind of shake from the other side?
[1690.0s] Can you unlock it? Like, is it easy on the inside? You don't need the picky pickies?
[1699.0s] Are there any, like, bolts or anything, Russ?
[1702.0s] There's no bolts. There are pick locks on the inside, too.
[1707.0s] I'm not going to be much use with this, but maybe Sully can.
[1710.0s] Oh, yeah, okay, sure.
[1712.0s] Well, guys, do we want to just leave? I mean, I know it's very creepy that the door just locked behind us, but we're already inside.
[1720.0s] Well, I was just thinking we could just open it to let the other two people in. If we're in trouble, they can't get in here.
[1728.0s] Yeah, you're right. That's smarter, Sully. You should open it back up in case we need help from those two.
[1735.0s] Oh, baby, 26.
[1739.0s] Damn.
[1740.0s] We'll just say with that roll that, yeah, you unlock all three doors and you open the door.
[1745.0s] And Hillop and Esau aren't there.
[1748.0s] Hey, guys.
[1751.0s] Are they guys? Hillop? Esau?
[1754.0s] Hello.
[1755.0s] Oh, my God, maybe they were never there.
[1758.0s] Well, now what do we do?
[1760.0s] I shut the door again.
[1764.0s] The locks go.
[1767.0s] Hey, you guys there?
[1770.0s] Nothing.
[1771.0s] Oh, God.
[1773.0s] Do you think one of those portal things that took your friend Merv just scooped these guys, too?
[1777.0s] God, I hope the fuck not.
[1780.0s] Okay, well, now that we're in here, I'm going to look around more, see what I can see.
[1785.0s] Yeah, let's have a look-see.
[1786.0s] Are there any candles or anything on any of the tables?
[1791.0s] Everybody make an investigation check.
[1795.0s] Nat 20.
[1796.0s] Or 19.
[1799.0s] Oh, investigations plus one.
[1802.0s] Is everything still super dusty?
[1804.0s] Yeah.
[1805.0s] Okay.
[1807.0s] Maybe there was some sort of like time travel element there.
[1810.0s] Oh, right, yeah.
[1811.0s] No, everything inside remains as you saw it.
[1815.0s] But as you look around, sorry, 19?
[1818.0s] No.
[1819.0s] Nat 20.
[1820.0s] 11.
[1821.0s] 10.
[1822.0s] Moot roll, sorry, moot roll with advantage because you are the only one with dark vision.
[1829.0s] Okay.
[1830.0s] Oh, that's much better.
[1832.0s] That's 14.
[1833.0s] Yeah, you're looking around, so there's stairs, there's a desk, and not much else.
[1842.0s] What direction does everybody go to look for things?
[1845.0s] I go to the desk.
[1846.0s] Desk.
[1847.0s] Okay, so the two of you go to a desk limb.
[1849.0s] Well, let's go stairs.
[1851.0s] All right, you go up the stairs.
[1853.0s] When you get to, you're both looking at a desk, at the desk, and there's a, it's
[1859.0s] thick and caked with dust, but you kind of feel around on top, and there's a
[1865.0s] piece of paper.
[1868.0s] You brush it off, and who, who reads it?
[1876.0s] What language is it?
[1878.0s] Tell me who reads it.
[1880.0s] I'll read it.
[1884.0s] Okay, I'm going to text you what it says.
[1887.0s] Glim, you go up the stairs, and you get to the top, and there is just a single
[1895.0s] window that you see out, and you can see over top of the trees.
[1900.0s] You see, let's say, to the south, so the opposite direction of which you had,
[1907.0s] where the bridge is, you see a, kind of the tip of what looks like a hut.
[1913.0s] Off to the east, you see an open clearing that looks to be, it could be a
[1920.0s] graveyard, and a silhouetted structure off a little bit further into the east.
[1928.0s] To the west, you see the cave that Isao had mentioned.
[1935.0s] What does it say?
[1937.0s] The letter says, don't trust me, and it's signed Isao the Miller.
[1944.0s] Ah, fuck.
[1957.0s] It's the middle of the show.
[1961.0s] Welcome to the middle.
[1962.0s] I like that.
[1963.0s] Yeah, it's good.
[1964.0s] It's nice.
[1965.0s] It's kind of got that Looney Tunes kind of feel.
[1966.0s] Yeah, it did kind of.
[1967.0s] I like it.
[1968.0s] Yeah.
[1969.0s] Welcome to the middle.
[1970.0s] We still have a contest going on until August 31st.
[1973.0s] Yeah, we do.
[1974.0s] That's soon.
[1975.0s] Today is the 21st as this comes out.
[1979.0s] I didn't hesitate because I was looking that up.
[1983.0s] No.
[1984.0s] Knew it right off the old dome.
[1985.0s] I heard it smooth right away.
[1986.0s] Yep.
[1987.0s] Same day.
[1988.0s] We're very current.
[1989.0s] I know what day it is.
[1990.0s] It's fine.
[1991.0s] But you can win a copy of Ghost Assault Marsh.
[1995.0s] How do they do that?
[1997.0s] Well, they can share on multiple social media platforms.
[2003.0s] They're the episode that comes out.
[2006.0s] We post on Facebook.
[2008.0s] You can find it on Twitter and just like let us know that you shared it because privacy settings are super weird.
[2015.0s] So just like drop us a message to say, hey, little comment.
[2019.0s] Just shared it.
[2021.0s] Maybe say something nice, you know, like, hey, Tom, your beard's looking really great today.
[2025.0s] Thanks, Amy.
[2027.0s] And we'll enter you to win that super duper book.
[2031.0s] And how do they do it on Twitter?
[2033.0s] They can tweet about us using the hashtag Dumb Dragon Cast.
[2038.0s] So go do that because that's coming up real quick.
[2041.0s] And also we have coming up very soon.
[2044.0s] We talk about this quite frequently.
[2047.0s] But we have some changes coming to our Patreon community.
[2050.0s] Some new tiers, some great things we're very excited about.
[2053.0s] A lot of it is new, exclusive content that has never before been seen or heard.
[2060.0s] And there's a whole bunch of it coming.
[2062.0s] September is just whack a bonkers.
[2065.0s] Buckle in for September.
[2067.0s] Yeah.
[2068.0s] This is the teaser for it because it's coming September 1st.
[2074.0s] Next time we'll maybe talk about it a little bit more.
[2076.0s] Yeah, we'll tease it again next time.
[2078.0s] Yeah.
[2079.0s] Yeah.
[2080.0s] Maybe get some more details.
[2081.0s] Yeah.
[2082.0s] Maybe.
[2083.0s] So keep listening.
[2085.0s] Yeah, listen next week.
[2088.0s] Love you.
[2089.0s] Bye.
[2090.0s] Bye.
[2091.0s] Back to the episode.
[2095.0s] Hey there.
[2096.0s] We're DM2GM.
[2097.0s] I'm your DM from Dumbgeons and Dragons, Russ More.
[2100.0s] And I'm your GM from The End of Time and Other Bothers, Sean Howard.
[2103.0s] And what we do here at DM2GM is we answer your questions to help you feel more comfortable
[2109.0s] playing the games you want to play.
[2111.0s] And what questions would those be, Russ?
[2113.0s] They are what game genre would you like to run?
[2115.0s] What system are you familiar with or are you looking to use?
[2119.0s] And finally, what hurdle is stopping you from running the game that you want to run?
[2124.0s] And we don't always agree, but 9 times out of 10 I think we're pretty much on the same page.
[2128.0s] I like mazes, Sean doesn't.
[2130.0s] It's a big thing.
[2131.0s] Don't worry about it.
[2132.0s] Aside from the maze thing, we want to share our real experiences, what we've learned,
[2136.0s] what's been helpful, so that other people can get going.
[2140.0s] And because a lot of these hurdles are just in their head.
[2142.0s] So all you got to do is send us the answer to those questions to dm2gmcast at gmail.com.
[2150.0s] And we will do our best to answer them.
[2153.0s] And then listen to us.
[2154.0s] Where do they listen to us, Sean?
[2156.0s] They can listen to us anywhere they can find podcasts.
[2159.0s] Just search for dm2gm.
[2162.0s] Send us your questions.
[2163.0s] dm2gmcast at gmail.com.
[2166.0s] Then listen every other Friday wherever you download podcasts.
[2169.0s] Or visit dm2gm.com.
[2172.0s] dm2gm.
[2173.0s] Get your game started.
[2179.0s] What's going on down there?
[2180.0s] There's a window out here.
[2181.0s] I can see some stuff.
[2183.0s] Esau's a motherfucking, just like, god damn non-trustworthy son of a bitch.
[2190.0s] I come back down the stairs.
[2192.0s] What do you mean?
[2193.0s] What do you mean we can't trust Esau?
[2195.0s] We found a letter from Esau that says, don't trust me.
[2200.0s] Oh.
[2201.0s] Well, that's ominous.
[2203.0s] It certainly doesn't sound great.
[2205.0s] Wait a minute.
[2206.0s] Hold on.
[2207.0s] But we didn't trust him though, did we?
[2208.0s] He was like, hey, don't go in there.
[2211.0s] He kept trying to make us go to the cave.
[2213.0s] Yeah, he wanted us to go to the cave.
[2214.0s] Yeah.
[2215.0s] So maybe we're all right.
[2216.0s] I mean, we got locked in here.
[2218.0s] It's not looking great.
[2219.0s] But I can get us out of here.
[2220.0s] I don't know where the other here is though, because I don't know where they are.
[2223.0s] Oh, maybe he did something to Hillop.
[2226.0s] Well, the man wanted an adventure.
[2229.0s] That's a good glass half full way of looking at it, Sully.
[2233.0s] I'm very positive.
[2235.0s] So there's a window upstairs, and I looked out, and it looks like if we head south,
[2239.0s] there's, I don't know, it looks like a big hut or something.
[2242.0s] I can just see the tip of it kind of over the trees.
[2244.0s] And then in the other direction, there was, it looked like a graveyard,
[2249.0s] like some kind of clearing with some kind of structure and like a silhouette.
[2253.0s] I don't know.
[2254.0s] I thought graveyard, temple, something like that.
[2257.0s] And then that cave is out there too that Esau was so horny for.
[2262.0s] Hold on.
[2264.0s] Was that Glim or was that Carla?
[2266.0s] Carla.
[2267.0s] I'm pretty sure based on these two episodes, that was Glim.
[2271.0s] That's right.
[2272.0s] Things are so sexy with Glim lately.
[2275.0s] She's just trying to fit in with Sully, I think.
[2278.0s] She's just speaking my language.
[2280.0s] Sully brings it out in her, this like, she feels like kind of risky.
[2286.0s] You're on your own in the big world.
[2288.0s] You can say things like horny.
[2291.0s] Not have your mom's look at you like, the fuck?
[2296.0s] You're not supposed to know what horny is until you're 40.
[2301.0s] You know, horny 40.
[2302.0s] That's what they say.
[2303.0s] That's what they say.
[2304.0s] Can I, like I rolled really, really well.
[2306.0s] Can I see candles or anything anywhere that I can like shed some light on any?
[2310.0s] No. Okay.
[2311.0s] In my Tinder box, I assume I have like means to make a little bit of fire.
[2319.0s] Shh, in your Tinder box.
[2321.0s] I have a Tinder box.
[2322.0s] Yeah, that's part of like the pack or whatever.
[2325.0s] Yep.
[2326.0s] So can I like strike a match?
[2328.0s] Sure.
[2329.0s] I do that and I just kind of like quickly illuminate some different areas that we haven't looked at yet.
[2336.0s] Yeah, you don't see anything else.
[2340.0s] It's a pretty empty room.
[2342.0s] Hey, did you see me?
[2344.0s] Oh, sorry.
[2345.0s] Oh, I was just going to say, does it look like there's any spot that a magical orb might have been placed?
[2350.0s] I was just going to ask if anyone's seen any of the mechanics of this place.
[2355.0s] No place really in particular, like no resting mount or anything like that.
[2364.0s] And I assume in the middle of the windmill is like the big like plates that get moved by the windmill to grind up the wheat?
[2376.0s] Yes.
[2377.0s] Okay.
[2378.0s] Sorry, yes.
[2379.0s] That takes up the majority of the room.
[2380.0s] I mean, I'm assuming you didn't really need to say it.
[2382.0s] That's what a windmill does.
[2383.0s] Yeah.
[2384.0s] It does, yeah.
[2385.0s] Is there anywhere, so nowhere that's like storage where like the bags of grain would go or they would have been stacked beside it?
[2392.0s] Nope.
[2393.0s] Nothing else in there.
[2394.0s] Kind of a rinky-dink operation.
[2396.0s] Any drawers in this desk?
[2398.0s] Nope.
[2399.0s] Anything else on the desk?
[2401.0s] Nope.
[2402.0s] Hmm.
[2403.0s] I take the piece of paper, I fold it up, I put it in my pocket.
[2406.0s] Okay.
[2407.0s] Um.
[2408.0s] Sully, can you, I guess, get us out of here and we should go see if we can find Phillip and Esau because there's nothing in here.
[2417.0s] Yeah, okay.
[2418.0s] Okay.
[2419.0s] He's probably convinced Phillip to go to that cave and we probably got to save his ass now.
[2425.0s] Yeah.
[2426.0s] Uh.
[2427.0s] Twenty-two.
[2428.0s] Yeah.
[2429.0s] We'll say that you can do it as many times as you want because you've done it a few times.
[2435.0s] That's what it sounds like.
[2436.0s] But yeah, you unlock the door and head on out.
[2440.0s] So after all three of you leave, you hear the door and lock again.
[2449.0s] Hmm.
[2450.0s] So do you think we head for the cave and see if that's where they went?
[2453.0s] Can I look around quick to see if this is the same, if this looks like the same place as we went in?
[2462.0s] Sure.
[2463.0s] Make an investigation check.
[2464.0s] Because, you know.
[2465.0s] Yep.
[2467.0s] Or portals.
[2468.0s] Or portals.
[2469.0s] Could be anything.
[2470.0s] Something.
[2471.0s] It's only an eleven.
[2472.0s] Yeah.
[2473.0s] I mean, it looks to be the same spot that you were before.
[2477.0s] You see footprints on the ground of everybody's who was there.
[2482.0s] Any, like, struggle-y footprints?
[2484.0s] Um.
[2485.0s] Why would I even look for that?
[2488.0s] Hisop would go.
[2489.0s] Phillip?
[2490.0s] Whatever.
[2491.0s] Well, you tell me if you're looking for that or if you're just looking.
[2494.0s] No.
[2495.0s] Hisop would go willingly with anybody.
[2498.0s] Like, all the time.
[2501.0s] Yes, cool, cool.
[2503.0s] Oh, you say that it's in the cave, y'all.
[2505.0s] Okay, let's go.
[2506.0s] Is there more honey?
[2507.0s] Is there honey in the cave?
[2510.0s] He's gonna be a fan favorite, I can tell right now.
[2513.0s] I like him.
[2514.0s] I think he's fun.
[2515.0s] Dressed the way he's dressed?
[2516.0s] Hell, yes.
[2518.0s] Um.
[2519.0s] Okay.
[2520.0s] Well, I know the direction that the cave is in because I saw it out that window,
[2523.0s] so should we head that way?
[2527.0s] Yeah.
[2529.0s] Sure, yeah, I guess it's the best bet to find them.
[2533.0s] I just want to see for the record.
[2535.0s] I don't really want to go find Phillip, but yeah, we probably should.
[2539.0s] I mean, he drives a fucking caravan.
[2542.0s] Yeah, how are we gonna get to Waterdeep if we don't get him back?
[2545.0s] All right, let's go for necessity's sake.
[2549.0s] You head back down the pathway and go towards the cave, where you believe the cave to be,
[2555.0s] and it's gonna wrap around the same pathway that you went and go down the stretch
[2560.0s] that you didn't previously turn down when you first got here.
[2564.0s] And it opens up into a big clearing,
[2566.0s] and there is the cave that you saw from above on the windmill.
[2571.0s] It is a fairly wide opening, very dark.
[2575.0s] It goes fairly deep. You can't see the back of it.
[2579.0s] Everybody make an investigation check.
[2584.0s] Okay, I don't see much in this cave, but I see a bunny in there.
[2588.0s] Well, I rolled a two, so I see nothing.
[2590.0s] Oh, yeah, an eight.
[2591.0s] Eight.
[2594.0s] Yeah.
[2598.0s] Yeah, okay.
[2599.0s] Moot and Sully, you see at the base of a cave a single skull.
[2605.0s] You also noticed on your walk here, which you didn't really notice previously,
[2611.0s] but there are large groves of mushrooms all throughout this wood.
[2618.0s] Classic.
[2622.0s] There are dead bodies under there.
[2625.0s] Well, I mean, I guess I can get a branch off a tree and we can make a torch.
[2630.0s] Go look in the cave.
[2633.0s] Yeah, okay.
[2635.0s] Okay, so I go get a branch off a tree.
[2638.0s] You guys notice all these mushrooms?
[2641.0s] Yeah.
[2642.0s] It's an awful lot of mushrooms.
[2645.0s] Do you think they're good-eating mushrooms?
[2647.0s] There's only one way to find...
[2648.0s] No, Moot, I don't think that they're good-eating mushrooms.
[2651.0s] Okay, all right.
[2653.0s] How many mushrooms has Moot already eaten?
[2655.0s] Yeah.
[2656.0s] None.
[2658.0s] But he was sizing them up.
[2660.0s] That's fair.
[2661.0s] So you grab a branch and you light a torch, yes?
[2666.0s] Yep.
[2667.0s] Okay.
[2668.0s] And I head slowly into the cave.
[2672.0s] Make a perception check as you do so.
[2677.0s] Seventeen.
[2680.0s] So as you get to the mouth of the cave and you shine the light from the lit branch into the cave,
[2689.0s] you hear above the crackles of the flame kind of a grunting, snoring type of sound.
[2702.0s] Okay, so I kind of like put up a hand like...
[2706.0s] Do you guys...
[2707.0s] Do you hear that?
[2709.0s] Can you hear...
[2710.0s] I think there might be a creature in here.
[2712.0s] Oh god, I thought that was Moot in his deviated septum.
[2717.0s] Nope, not this time.
[2721.0s] Okay, so I'm gonna like slowly back away so we can get a little distance away so we can talk.
[2729.0s] Guys, what do you think?
[2730.0s] It sounds like...
[2732.0s] Like that sounded like a bear or something, right?
[2736.0s] Yeah.
[2737.0s] If I was a bear, I'd want to live in that cave.
[2739.0s] Look how spacious it is.
[2742.0s] Doesn't really...
[2743.0s] I don't really like that one skull we saw outside of the cave.
[2747.0s] Yeah.
[2748.0s] You said skull, Russ.
[2749.0s] Human skull?
[2750.0s] Yes, sorry.
[2751.0s] It looks to be a human skull.
[2752.0s] No, I assumed, but then there was a creature, so I thought...
[2754.0s] Could it have been a small animal skull?
[2756.0s] Exactly, I should clarify.
[2757.0s] Yep.
[2758.0s] Nope.
[2759.0s] It is a...
[2760.0s] Yeah, it looks to be a human skull.
[2761.0s] If anybody wishes to investigate it, you are more than welcome to do so.
[2764.0s] Yeah, I'll pick it up.
[2766.0s] Five.
[2767.0s] This dice needs to go away.
[2768.0s] Five just to pick it up, or you just go pick it up?
[2772.0s] What?
[2773.0s] I said, you rolled a five to pick it up, or you just go pick it up?
[2777.0s] I just go pick it up, but that was my investigation.
[2779.0s] I think that was her investigation.
[2780.0s] Pick it up was part of the investigation.
[2781.0s] I hot potato it.
[2784.0s] As you pick it up and look at it, it begins to talk to you.
[2789.0s] Ah, fuck!
[2790.0s] And it says, to the right of the cross the code will be.
[2797.0s] The black sparrow flies at dusk.
[2801.0s] To the right of the cross the code will be.
[2807.0s] So the code will be to the right of the cross?
[2812.0s] To the right of the cross the code will be.
[2816.0s] So it's just like an outgoing voicemail?
[2820.0s] Is this B-B-E or B-B-E-E?
[2824.0s] To the right of the cross the code will be.
[2828.0s] I think he's talking about the B's that we passed, you guys.
[2831.0s] No, remember I said I thought there was a temple or something?
[2836.0s] So maybe that's the cross.
[2838.0s] Maybe we head there to the right of it, and then there'll be a code.
[2844.0s] I don't know what we need a code for.
[2846.0s] I'm not sure what my philosophy is on listening to talking skulls.
[2850.0s] What do you guys think?
[2851.0s] I look at the skull and I'm like, can you say anything else?
[2853.0s] To the right of the cross the code will be.
[2857.0s] Well, this is my first experience with a talking skull, so I'm at a bit of a loss.
[2862.0s] I put it in my bag.
[2864.0s] To the right of the cross the code will be.
[2869.0s] And then it's silent from there.
[2871.0s] Well, what do you guys think?
[2873.0s] We head to that churchyard or whatever it was?
[2876.0s] I don't really want to disturb a bear.
[2878.0s] I was just going to say, he's having a really good sleep.
[2880.0s] Do we want to be those people?
[2882.0s] I don't want to be that person.
[2884.0s] Let's go to the right of the cross, and then the code will be there.
[2891.0s] Sure, I don't see why not.
[2896.0s] So we head in that direction.
[2899.0s] To the graveyard area or the structure in the distance that you weren't quite sure what it was?
[2906.0s] Or there was a hut that you saw kind of the top of a hut?
[2910.0s] I think the graveyard-y area because that was closer than the structure, right?
[2916.0s] I don't know how Christian this place is, but if there's going to be a cross anywhere it would probably be a graveyard.
[2922.0s] Graveyard seems like a good place to start.
[2924.0s] So you go back down the pathway in which you came.
[2928.0s] You pass back in front of the windmill, and then there's a path that goes off to the right.
[2932.0s] And it's a straight shot, kind of a narrow pathway lined by more trees, of course.
[2939.0s] But it opens up into a wide graveyard.
[2943.0s] There are three rows, each with four different headstones.
[2948.0s] Two of those headstones have holes dug in front of them.
[2954.0s] And on each of the headstones you see a letter.
[2962.0s] There are three crosses, one in each row.
[2966.0s] Hey, it's Russ here.
[2968.0s] Just wanted to pop in.
[2969.0s] I put the map that I will eventually draw for them down in the description.
[2975.0s] So you can take a look at that to see what they are looking at when they're trying to figure out this graveyard puzzle.
[2982.0s] Puzzle thing.
[2984.0s] Yeah, okay, back to it.
[2987.0s] So, three rows with four headstones in each.
[2991.0s] Two have holes in front of them?
[2993.0s] Yeah.
[2994.0s] And then what was the last thing you said?
[2996.0s] I have a whiteboard.
[2997.0s] Yeah, you got a whiteboard?
[2999.0s] Let's do that.
[3000.0s] I love it.
[3001.0s] Just like we're around the table, I love it.
[3004.0s] P-A-R-T-Y, it's a party, a party-zad or a party-dazz.
[3012.0s] Party days.
[3013.0s] Party days.
[3015.0s] So, to the right of the cross the code will be.
[3019.0s] So, Z-E-D.
[3025.0s] Or T-Z-E-D.
[3028.0s] To the right of which cross?
[3032.0s] All of them?
[3035.0s] I like Moot's idea that it's all three of them.
[3038.0s] Those are all to the right.
[3039.0s] So like one, two.
[3041.0s] These ones?
[3043.0s] Oh, wait.
[3044.0s] I was just thinking the one.
[3045.0s] Immediately to the right, but it could be all of them.
[3048.0s] It could be.
[3050.0s] D-Z.
[3052.0s] Zed.
[3053.0s] They're Canadian.
[3059.0s] How long does Russ let us struggle for?
[3061.0s] I mean, you tell me when you think you figured it out.
[3064.0s] Well, where do we put this code?
[3066.0s] I think we should probably look around maybe a little bit and see, like, is there a place to enter a code?
[3073.0s] I think you're right, because otherwise how do we figure it out?
[3077.0s] I take the skull out of my pocket and I say Z-E-D.
[3082.0s] To the right of the cross the code will be.
[3085.0s] D-Z-E-D-Z.
[3087.0s] To the right of the cross.
[3089.0s] I put it back in my...
[3091.0s] The code will be.
[3095.0s] I want to look around.
[3096.0s] There's the building, right?
[3098.0s] Yeah.
[3099.0s] There's like a little...
[3100.0s] There's a silhouette of a building in the distance.
[3102.0s] Gwen saw a structure and then there was also the peak of what looked like a bit of a hut.
[3108.0s] The structure was unknown, because there was a silhouette to her.
[3112.0s] But is that in the cemetery area?
[3115.0s] It was a little bit further from where you are now, but yeah, in the same direction.
[3120.0s] Okay, but there's nothing else around this in the cemetery.
[3123.0s] More mushrooms around the area that you've specifically noticed, but no, nothing else in this cemetery area.
[3130.0s] Without getting too close, I look over one of the empty graves.
[3134.0s] It's empty.
[3136.0s] Guys, maybe we should look at one of the other buildings and see if there's a place to put a code,
[3141.0s] because maybe there'll be like three letters or four letters and it'll tell us if we need to use...
[3148.0s] Yeah, I think you're right.
[3149.0s] If we know what we're looking for, we can solve it better, I think.
[3153.0s] Yeah.
[3154.0s] Okay, well, there was like a silhouette of a structure or something that looked...
[3160.0s] I don't know.
[3161.0s] We kind of have two options.
[3162.0s] Do either of you care?
[3164.0s] Which way should we go?
[3166.0s] The one that's closest.
[3167.0s] How about the one that's this way?
[3170.0s] Okay.
[3172.0s] You carry on down the path.
[3174.0s] More mushrooms fill the side of the path as you go.
[3179.0s] And as you continue walking down, it comes to an end and you take a right.
[3184.0s] You hear voices.
[3188.0s] And one of them is very clearly hillops.
[3192.0s] And as you get closer, you hear...
[3195.0s] So it's just up there then?
[3198.0s] And as you get closer, you see a staircase.
[3201.0s] And at the top of the staircase, there appears to be a chest.
[3204.0s] And he hears you guys coming around the corner.
[3206.0s] He says, guys, he showed me where the gold is.
[3208.0s] It's here.
[3209.0s] It's in the chest.
[3210.0s] Uh, Haleup, just get away from that guy.
[3214.0s] What's the problem?
[3216.0s] He showed us where the gold is.
[3218.0s] Trust me, buddy.
[3219.0s] Well, first of all, Haleup, I can't believe you just walked away when we got locked inside a building.
[3223.0s] He said you would be fine.
[3224.0s] We'll be fine.
[3225.0s] We'll be back in no time flat by the time you got it all sorted out in there.
[3228.0s] Oh, yeah.
[3229.0s] The guy who gets stuck in quicksand.
[3233.0s] Everything's going to be just fine.
[3234.0s] Feels okay wandering off alone.
[3237.0s] Can you say trap much?
[3240.0s] I don't know traps.
[3241.0s] I'm not an adventurer.
[3242.0s] I'm just a caravan driver.
[3243.0s] And he told me that the gold was here.
[3245.0s] This is how caravan drivers end up in those empty graves over there.
[3249.0s] There was graves?
[3251.0s] I pull out the piece of paper from my pocket and I was like, we found this.
[3256.0s] Esap, tell us about this.
[3262.0s] Well, thank you for getting my name right.
[3265.0s] You did find the note left by my evil twin brother.
[3274.0s] The old twin brother story.
[3276.0s] I haven't been entirely honest with you.
[3279.0s] I do know a little bit about this place, being that this is where he was from.
[3288.0s] Uh-huh.
[3289.0s] Please explain more bullshit.
[3292.0s] I don't believe that you're going to trust anything that I say.
[3295.0s] No, it said not to write you on the piece of paper.
[3298.0s] I could tell you how to lift the curse over this place.
[3303.0s] Restoring its...
[3306.0s] Yeah, you do it.
[3309.0s] If you know how to do it, just do it.
[3311.0s] Well, I don't know how far you made it, but there's a hut.
[3315.0s] You have to collect some of these mushrooms and bring it to the hut.
[3321.0s] Uh-huh.
[3323.0s] And then what?
[3324.0s] Well, and then there's a bit of...
[3329.0s] It's supposed to be a bit of a ritual with the mushrooms, consuming some of them perhaps.
[3336.0s] And then, I mean, he was more concerned about the gold.
[3339.0s] I was just trying to help with the gold.
[3342.0s] Esau, this is all very, very shady.
[3346.0s] Were you even drowning in quicksand?
[3348.0s] Who fakes being stuck in quicksand?
[3352.0s] Yeah, that's fucked up.
[3355.0s] Everybody roll an insight.
[3362.0s] Fifteen.
[3365.0s] Twenty.
[3366.0s] Oh, geez, you guys are on fire.
[3369.0s] It was not great for me.
[3371.0s] He's like, I'm not even gonna say my...
[3373.0s] Moot believes every word that he's saying.
[3375.0s] However, you two, yeah, you're on to the fact that he either isn't who he says he is or is hiding something else.
[3387.0s] What are you hiding?
[3390.0s] I beg your pardon, why would I be hiding?
[3394.0s] I will straight up throw a talking skull at you.
[3397.0s] Um, he says, well, you've left me no choice.
[3402.0s] He pulls Dagger from his back pocket and puts it to Hillop's neck and says,
[3409.0s] I can't let you A, leave here, and I can't let you lift the curse.
[3415.0s] I'm sorry. That's it.
[3418.0s] Why not?
[3419.0s] You can't let us lift the curse.
[3421.0s] No.
[3422.0s] Why?
[3423.0s] No, the whole mushroom thing really wasn't to lift the curse.
[3428.0s] You're fucking high though, right?
[3430.0s] Yeah, real high. You should take some with you.
[3433.0s] Those are dead body mushrooms, aren't they?
[3436.0s] What? No. Why would there be dead body mushrooms?
[3441.0s] Well, because I have a feeling like nobody ever actually left this place.
[3446.0s] That is a theory. I like it.
[3449.0s] I'm going to kill this man now though.
[3451.0s] So perhaps we should roll for initiative.
[3457.0s] I have crazy initiative bonus, you guys.
[3460.0s] I do not.
[3462.0s] Seventeen.
[3463.0s] Eighteen.
[3464.0s] Ten.
[3465.0s] God damn it.
[3466.0s] I just had a good roll. I have a minus one for initiative. It's very different.
[3469.0s] Oh jeez, so we had a really good roll then.
[3472.0s] Glim, you're up first.
[3474.0s] You have Hylop in front of you with a dagger to his throat by Esau.
[3479.0s] Guys, this is episode 11. It's our first fight.
[3483.0s] It's true.
[3485.0s] How close am I to them?
[3487.0s] You're fairly close. They let you get pretty close as you were.
[3490.0s] So you're at the base of the staircase, I don't know, ten feet away.
[3498.0s] Do we even know what to do to fight?
[3502.0s] Do I, now that we rolled initiative, do I have to take an attack action?
[3508.0s] You, no.
[3510.0s] You can delay your action.
[3512.0s] No, I want to try and, I want to talk to him.
[3514.0s] Oh, absolutely.
[3516.0s] Yeah, there's a bunch of different stuff that you can do.
[3519.0s] But yeah, absolutely. You can talk to him.
[3521.0s] Okay.
[3524.0s] Esau, I don't, don't do anything rash. We just want you to explain what's going on and maybe we can help you.
[3530.0s] It sounds like you have an evil brother or something, and I can't even imagine what that's like.
[3534.0s] So could you please just take the knife away from Hylop's neck and explain to us calmly what's going on?
[3543.0s] I promise that we'll listen.
[3545.0s] Persuasion.
[3548.0s] 24.
[3552.0s] PAlydins have mad charisma.
[3554.0s] I'm really, I'm very persuasive.
[3557.0s] You're not, you're, okay.
[3559.0s] I mean, I still can't let you leave.
[3562.0s] We'll listen to what you have to say. Please, Hylop is really scared.
[3566.0s] Okay. So, I will, Hylop, are you going to be okay?
[3570.0s] Yes, I will be fine. I won't move.
[3575.0s] I haven't peed my pants.
[3577.0s] Nobody has to do that.
[3580.0s] Rolling that 20 on deception so you believe.
[3582.0s] It seems like odd information to volunteer.
[3585.0s] The dark purple of his pants.
[3587.0s] His pants are green, green stripes. His jacket's purple.
[3591.0s] And his bra.
[3593.0s] He kind of loosens the dagger on it but doesn't take it completely away.
[3598.0s] Really, what, we're just trying to get more people to come here. It's more of a tourism type thing.
[3605.0s] If you eat the mushrooms, you stay and you be my friend.
[3609.0s] Esau, you're still not telling the truth. You have to tell the truth.
[3613.0s] No, I am. You have to eat the mushrooms.
[3617.0s] Just like Hylop here did.
[3619.0s] Hylop, did you eat the mushrooms?
[3622.0s] I was so hungry and he said they were tasty.
[3625.0s] And how do you feel?
[3628.0s] I feel a little rumbly in my tumbling but I'm feeling okay.
[3636.0s] How far did he move, like, did he move away from Hylop at all?
[3641.0s] He mostly just moved his hand, the daggered hand away.
[3647.0s] We're going to say that that's your turn and Sully's turn.
[3652.0s] So the dagger's away. He's still got a hand on Hylop's shoulder.
[3657.0s] So he's still within range of him.
[3662.0s] Sully's just like...
[3665.0s] Number one, I can't believe you ate those mushrooms, dude.
[3669.0s] That's fucking disgusting.
[3671.0s] Number two, and I draw my short bow and I release an arrow
[3676.0s] because I'm done with this shit.
[3679.0s] Okay, roll attack.
[3683.0s] This is what I was hoping for when I was persuading him.
[3688.0s] Did it fail? Did you just shoot Hylop in the eye?
[3691.0s] Oh no, did you shoot Hylop?
[3693.0s] Guys, this is my first attack roll of the new broadcast
[3698.0s] and it was a one.
[3700.0s] That was so close.
[3702.0s] Okay, so you lose...
[3706.0s] Sorry, what did you say? I'm done with this shit?
[3709.0s] I don't think I said that part out loud. I said that to us.
[3712.0s] But I just said, that's fucking disgusting.
[3717.0s] So here's how Hylop sees it.
[3720.0s] You say, that's fucking disgusting.
[3724.0s] Quickly pull a short bow and shoot him in the shoulder.
[3728.0s] Roll damage.
[3731.0s] I go...
[3733.0s] God damn it.
[3735.0s] 1d6 plus five.
[3737.0s] Fuck.
[3739.0s] Damn.
[3741.0s] Oh god damn it, I rolled a six.
[3743.0s] 11 damage. Did I kill him? Is he a level one character?
[3748.0s] Hylop goes down.
[3752.0s] Oh god damn it, sorry buddy.
[3754.0s] Down on the ground, there's no response from Hylop.
[3757.0s] And Esau looks at you and says...
[3760.0s] You guys are savage.
[3762.0s] And I say back to him, I'll kill every fucking friend you have.
[3766.0s] I'm just going with it now.
[3768.0s] Are you doing anything else?
[3770.0s] No. I think I've done enough.
[3772.0s] Moot, it's your turn.
[3774.0s] Uh, wow.
[3777.0s] Look at the hiccups there.
[3781.0s] Wow, why do you even play this game?
[3783.0s] Moot's just kind of stunned by what just transpired.
[3790.0s] Does Esau still have the knife in his hands and everything?
[3793.0s] Yeah, oh yeah, why would he drop it?
[3795.0s] He didn't get hit with it.
[3797.0s] He didn't just get shot.
[3799.0s] So close.
[3801.0s] So close.
[3803.0s] Okay, I am going to cast Ray of Frost.
[3808.0s] Alright.
[3810.0s] Since now the path is abundantly clear to have a clear shot at him.
[3814.0s] Cool, is that an attack roll?
[3816.0s] Or does that just happen?
[3818.0s] Yep, I make a ranged spell attack.
[3820.0s] Do so.
[3822.0s] Excellent.
[3824.0s] Editing out all these hiccup sounds.
[3826.0s] That's a 21.
[3828.0s] That will hit.
[3830.0s] And you'll hit the right person and all.
[3832.0s] So that is nine damage.
[3840.0s] No, wait, sorry.
[3842.0s] Okay, there's no bonus?
[3844.0s] No bonus.
[3846.0s] Okay, then that is, sorry, I thought there was a plus five.
[3848.0s] So that's four damage.
[3850.0s] Okay.
[3852.0s] Cold damage.
[3854.0s] So describe to me what it looks like as you do this.
[3857.0s] So yeah, Moot kind of throws his hand out and like a beam of white, like not light, but like cold.
[3867.0s] It's really bright though still, so I guess light would be a good way to describe it.
[3873.0s] But this kind of like freezing ray just like shoots out of his hand.
[3878.0s] And I guess hits Esau in the chest?
[3883.0s] It hits him square in the chest.
[3885.0s] And the two of you see Frost just hit and disperse along his clothing.
[3891.0s] And he lets out a scream and like, ah, that doesn't feel good at all.
[3897.0s] What accent do you have on it?
[3900.0s] I don't know.
[3904.0s] That's it for my turn.
[3905.0s] Is it for your turn?
[3906.0s] It's his turn.
[3907.0s] And he's kind of trying to brush away and then he turns and he begins to run.
[3913.0s] Fucker.
[3915.0s] Okay, I want to fire breath him then.
[3920.0s] Before he gets away.
[3922.0s] It's Hillop's turn, but he doesn't do anything.
[3924.0s] Oh.
[3926.0s] I already forgot about Hillop.
[3928.0s] I'm cold.
[3929.0s] I'm stone cold.
[3930.0s] He's dashed.
[3931.0s] So he's 70 feet from you now.
[3933.0s] Oh, damn it.
[3934.0s] He is a quick little fucker.
[3936.0s] Yeah, so he's actually gone into the trees.
[3942.0s] Okay.
[3943.0s] Sorry, there are trees up these stairs?
[3945.0s] No, sorry, there's trees around because there's trees around everything.
[3950.0s] But there's a clearing and then the stairs are in the middle of this clearing with a chest at the top.
[3956.0s] Okay, well then I'm going to run over to Hillop and see if he is okay.
[3962.0s] He appears unconscious.
[3964.0s] Okay, I am going to lay on hands.
[3970.0s] This kind of sounds weird and dirty, but isn't.
[3973.0s] I'm going to...
[3975.0s] I have a pool of healing power that can restore five HP.
[3979.0s] I can touch a creature to restore any number of HP remaining in the pool of five.
[3985.0s] So can I...
[3987.0s] I guess he's unconscious, right?
[3990.0s] Yep.
[3991.0s] So can I give him, like, one so he's not unconscious anymore?
[3996.0s] Sure, yep.
[3997.0s] Okay, I'm going to give him one.
[3999.0s] You do so and his eyes open as you do this.
[4003.0s] He's like, ahh!
[4005.0s] That hurts so real bad!
[4007.0s] Did we get the gold?
[4009.0s] We...
[4010.0s] Oh, buddy, well...
[4012.0s] This has given me the hiccups.
[4014.0s] Whenever I get shot with a short ball, I get the hiccups.
[4019.0s] I'm sorry that you've been shot with a short bow enough times to know physiologically how you'll react.
[4025.0s] It's very sad, Hillop.
[4027.0s] It hurts so real bad.
[4029.0s] I yell from the bottom.
[4031.0s] Gab, man, I'm so sorry.
[4033.0s] It did sound too like I was yelling at you and then I shot you with the narrow.
[4036.0s] You did yell at me and said, that's real disgusting.
[4039.0s] I thought I just had wronged you in some way by eating those mushrooms.
[4043.0s] I was just so disappointed in your actions, man.
[4046.0s] Well...
[4048.0s] Yeah, did we get the bad guy?
[4050.0s] Did the adventure win?
[4052.0s] Not yet.
[4054.0s] Oh, okay.
[4058.0s] So maybe we try and get the gold, then.
[4061.0s] Is he... because is he up at the top of the stairs, like, by the gold?
[4064.0s] I sort of lost the geography.
[4066.0s] He's at the bottom of the stairs, right?
[4068.0s] No, he didn't run up the stairs.
[4070.0s] He ran back, like, away from the stairs.
[4072.0s] No, no, no, like, Hillop and him were at the bottom of the stairs and he was going to...
[4075.0s] Sorry, Esau and him were at the bottom of the stairs and Hillop was going to start walking up.
[4078.0s] So we're still at the base of the stairs right now.
[4081.0s] Yes, more or less, yeah.
[4085.0s] Guys, what do we do?
[4086.0s] There's this crazy person in the woods.
[4088.0s] There's maybe gold up there.
[4089.0s] We need to find a code, something about mushrooms.
[4093.0s] This is a lot.
[4094.0s] Personally, I feel like I need a second, I need a do-over to shoot that guy.
[4101.0s] Also, he's like, I don't know, like, what?
[4103.0s] Fucking, like, turning people into zombie friends?
[4106.0s] I don't know what he's doing, but it's not good.
[4108.0s] He's definitely not good.
[4110.0s] No.
[4111.0s] So we go after Esau?
[4112.0s] Are we agreed?
[4113.0s] Let's get him.
[4114.0s] I think we have to.
[4115.0s] Okay, let's do it.
[4118.0s] Can somebody help me up?
[4121.0s] I help him up.
[4123.0s] And can somebody take this pokey bit out of my shoulder?
[4127.0s] Oh, yeah, I go up and I take it back.
[4130.0s] Ah!
[4133.0s] Takes one damage and collapses.
[4135.0s] No.
[4136.0s] I'm kidding, I'm kidding.
[4137.0s] I'll give him another one, just keeping him barely alive.
[4140.0s] Just enough.
[4141.0s] This is so much fun, guys.
[4142.0s] I love the adventure.
[4144.0s] And you guys head off following in the direction that Esau ran.
[4147.0s] You tell me marching order.
[4152.0s] We just kind of all just go on scattershot.
[4155.0s] Am I having to help Hylip?
[4157.0s] Well, somebody does have to help Hylip, yeah.
[4159.0s] Okay, well I'll do it because I'm beefy.
[4162.0s] So I'll like, he can have an arm around my shoulder or whatever and we can make our way.
[4167.0s] Carrying Hylip, the four of you head off into the trees looking for Esau.
[4189.0s] You know, horny 40, that's what they say.
[4218.0s] Yeah, that's what they say.
[4219.0s] That's the theme of my birthday party this coming year.
[4221.0s] Oh, God, yes.
[4224.0s] Carla's horny 40.
[4226.0s] Can you imagine?
[4228.0s] Remind me that I said that in January.
[4230.0s] I'll see if I can pull it off.
[4237.0s] Cursed Are the Woods was part of today's adventure.
[4239.0s] Created by Eric Dalek.
[4241.0s] Licensed under Creative Commons by Attribution 3.0.
[4244.0s] Visit Creative Commons dot org slash licenses slash buy dash SA slash 3.0.
[4248.0s] The songs Long Road Ahead, Come Play With Me by Kavin McLeod of incompetech dot film music dot IO.
[4254.0s] All songs are licensed under Creative Commons by Attribution 4.0.
[4257.0s] Visit Creative Commons dot org slash licenses slash buy slash 4.0.